Destiny

I have been thinking lately of what it means by destiny - can it be known?  Heard of great people who miraculously came to understand "this is it and nothing else in my life" meaning.  So here i am who is not aware of the  meaning of destiny except what is there in the dictionary.

Yesterday evening, my daughter came to my house running breathing hard and asking me for few sticks.  She said there is a pigeon stuck to a wire hanging from the tree near the neighborhood and she wanted to save it.  So, i gave the sticks to her.   Myself and my wife  followed her.  With the help of few of our neighbors the bird was brought down.  One good samaritian slowly and patiently untangled the wire.  Once done, we applied ointment etc.,  thought of leaving it out.  On second thought, we decided it could be killed by dogs or cats and took it to our home.

We installed it on the dining table and started feeding it water.  I think it got scared and flew a little.  Since it was feeling suffocated inside the house and we were afraid that it could be hit by the ceiling fan, we decided to take it to the first floor balcony.  We lodged it there, gave it food, water etc.,  it remained comfortable.  My daughter would check it's well-being  every hour during the night.   Most of our neighbors were curious to know about its well-being.  This was the state yesterday night.

This morning i woke up early morning to check how it is.   To my surprise when i went into the balcony, i found a cat eating it.  I was really shocked.  I got heavily upset.  After composing myself, i thought if my daughter and others knew about this, they would lose faith in saving lives.  So, i cleaned up the remaining feathers and body of the dead pigeon, threw it where nobody could see it.  Once my daughter woke up, she checked for the bird and it couldn't be found there.  So, she declared the bird healed and flew away.  So, it was a happy ending for her.

But I was guilty.  I thought i could have saved it somehow.  Morning when i kept quiet for sometime, it finally occurred to me.  The bird had to somehow die this morning by a cat.  Hanging by the thin wire - it would have survived few more days.   That means it's final destiny wouldn't have been reached by the exact time and exact place.   If we hadn't gotten it down, there was no way a cat would have eaten it.   That is the harsh way of destiny - and that made my mind quiet.
Nobody knows his destiny(result) & time & place (all the three).   

Sangla and Kalpa

On

Ancestral home

My memories of close relatives and our chatter among ourselves still echo in my ancestral home while most of those beautiful people have left their earthly abode and adorn the walls in nicely crafted photographs,  I searched frantically for free space on the wall wondering if I had any space left on the wall and the hearts of people living still.  A huge gap between my visits created a unfillable vacuum into which many living acquaintances of the past have vanished with just their memories still living in my mind- the laughter of my cousin, the cot on which my uncle used to sleep, small table where we would sit and have heated debates with no conclusions, the verandah where we used to sit whenever there was power cut.  I am amazed to see that those memories are still a part of me, very much active in some  beautiful but sad corner in the depths of my heart - it appeared to me that I am as much a dead living, these memories are so intense and deeply etched that I longed for more of those -  may be somewhere deep within the depths of my being is a memory of my creation, just waiting for it to unfold.

Water

Teacher

It has been a long time since i remembered my teachers.  Once in a while, when i talk to my friends- this subject turns up about our school days at V.T.College, Sriharipuram, Visakhapatnam.   Those were the carefree days - but what i remember vividly are the teachers who taught us.  Sitaram murthy -alias kepudu(he would blast once in a while) but what a teacher he is?  At the old age of 65, he used to teach mathematics with such flair and passion.   He would use nasyam(tobacco powder)in his nose.  I had this brilliant telugu teacher - anaparthi somayajulu(need to confirm his name) -alias pandudu(he has a golden complexion).  He mastered all literate in telugu, known till that date.  Our english Sir - Prakasa Rao(we used to call him Peggotty).  He was good too. Social master Jambudu was a tall man as well.  His class on political science is unapralleled.  He used to speak in whispers. My first teacher was my mother, she was very sweet.  My second teacher was my father.  

Mad Man

Dont know why I intended to write about a mad man.  But here is a brief context, everyday as i go to my office from my house about half - way i see this man in ragged clothes.  Perhaps he didn't take bath for months.  May be he was like you and me once.  How deeply can we go and analyze his mental state? What prompted him the way he is - his circumstances, this society or perhaps something else.  Does he get a head-ache sitting in the sun.  Doesn't he know that the society has discarded him?  What makes him feel bad?  Why is he looking at each vehicle passing by with such great intensity?  Is he expecting a friend to pick him up?  Wouldn't we respect the same person, if we learnt that he is a genius?  What would happen to his future?  What a pity his family has disowned him.  While these are the thoughts that cross my mind; I see him happily sitting in the hot sun, waving at everyone.  He has an innocent smile.  Is laughing at us for our 

A trip to a school for the mentally challenged

On Friday the 29th evening, my colleague Sitaram told me that they are visiting a place in Palamaner around 140 kms from B'lore to engage/entertain children with mental disabilities.  I asked him, if i can accompany and he agreed.  It was 30th morning and as usual, my Big Daddy told me if it was so important.  I somehow ignored him.  So we went to this place under the banner of "TMAD"(To make a difference) - the four of us - kamal, sitaram, koti reddy and myself.   On the way, Dad would send me subtle messages - "You are wasting your time". I ignored him again, then he told me "Okay since anyways you have decided, share some of your joy with them".   So, when we knocked on the hostel door-promptly came a muslim guy with white cap unlocked the door for us to get in.  There were 40 odd inmates.  Both Deaf and Dumb, kids with Downs syndrome, kids with paralysis, kids with no families - from all age groups until 15 yrs I guess.  This was a new experience for me.  They invited us whole heartedly.  Dad has a lot of reservation, he wouldn't allow me to touch them.  But once i started to mingle with them, it was fun.  Took some of their pictures and they really loved navigating on my htc mobile.  I never knew Mobile phones have this fan-following(even mentally challenged people seem to like those).   Some of my observations.

• I went with a view to entertain them.  But they entertained me. They are more happy inwardly then i am.
• I thought my material abundance makes me richer.  While outwardly, they seem to be wanting a nice shirt or watch or mobile.  They were very happy inwardly and had a great degree of comraderie among themselves.  I can show off some of my material riches, but inside i didn't have anything to give. 
• After all the fun, when we had to leave - those children so gracefully bid us farewell.  I have no words.  If i were in their place, i would have been so selfish to let go of a beautiful occasion. ( i waited many times in the movie hall even after the movie was over -didn't want to let go).
• I am very unhappy with an imperfect world and i dont have a place for an imperfect world.  But they are at peace with it and they have a place for a perfect world as well. 
• I am not okay if i am threatened.  These guys are perfectly at ease with it.  They are ill-treated at times by the inmates.  But after a brief lull, they are friends again. 

Kamal needs a special mention here.  His organizational skills were awesome.  He went about his duty like a soldier in a battle field.  

If you have read upto here, you should be wondering who was that "Dad" I was referring to- well, the answer is "My mind".

If you want "to make a difference" to your lives, go ahead and enjoy .. Dont ever think of "making a difference to their lives".  They are already happy.